We’ve compiled this list of questions based on the learnings of Kinky Salon in San Francisco and our experiences at other parties. It’s not definitive and the rules are of course subject to change dependent on the feedback of our community. But they’re all here to make the party all the more fun and safe for everyone involved. If you have any questions, feel free to email us.

Q: How do I get tickets?

A: Sign up to become a member, being sure to provide all the information we request. The photo is just for accountability, so we know who everyone is – we’re not judging you. Once you’re confirmed you’ll receive all our ticket links by email.

Q: I’ve never been to an arty sexy party before. Do you have any tips on how I should behave?

A: Dress up, bring a PAL and follow our Code of Conduct and you’ll be fine. For specific playroom etiquette we ask all guests to read our How To Be A Playroom Sweetheart guide.

Q: Is there an age policy?

A: All our events are 19+. Aside from that, any age is welcome.

Q: Do I have to use my real name? What if my friends / parents / work find out?

A: We take steps to protect the identity and privacy of all guests. We understand that there are professional people who wish for their private lives to remain as such and we support our guests’ right to use pseudonyms / nicknames / scene names at the events. Though we ask that guests book and pay for tickets under their real names, which we promise to keep entirely private. Our parties are private and the locations a secret. Joining our Facebook group / page is optional: if you wish to be kept informed about Kinky Salon privately by email that is fine. One of the rules in the Code of Conduct is that all activities at Kinky Salon remain secret. Your folks won’t find out – unless you tell them!

Q: Do I have to bring proof of identity?

A: Yes, you do. If we don’t already know you, we may ask for some way to prove your identity at the door.  If you wish to book under a pseudonym or use nicknames / alternative names on the night we welcome that, but we will expect for you to be the same person/people in the photograph/s you supplied when you requested membership. The longer we’ve known you, the less likely it is we’ll have to ask.

Q: Do you sell tickets at the door? Can we bring a new guest at the door?

A: In a word: no. But in slightly more words: Kinky Salon Toronto is a family. A group of friends-of-friends really. So we want to get to know you in advance. We don’t sell tickets at the door or accept new guests at the spur of the moment because this prevents us from getting to know you. However, if you reckon you might ever want to come to Kinky Salon or know someone who might like it, sign up to become a member and we’ll keep you informed.

Q: If we decide not to go, can we have a refund? Can we pass our tickets to someone else?

A: Kinky Salon is run by volunteers and there’s a really limited number of tickets. We’re busy putting up fabulous decor and creating fun entertainment. There’s a risk of us losing money if people ask for refunds and processing them takes time. Sorry but you can’t pass your tickets on to anyone else.

Q: I’m new to Kinky Salon. Will I fit in? Do I have to “do” anything?

A: Kinky Salon is a caring, embracing, warm community. We encourage you to dress up but there’s no pressure to “do” anything aside from being who you want to be. The playroom is one aspect of Kinky Salon and even for those who never enter it there’s a ton of fun to be had at the cabaret and with our various arty entertainments.

Q: Do you accept single men / single women / threesomes / groups? How about asexual / queer / gay / bi / straight / trans / TV people? Or older people? Bigger people? Disabled people? Pregnant people? What kind of people get turned away from Kinky Salon?

A: Yes. Yes! A thousand times, yes! All of these people and combinations are positively encouraged. No-one gets turned away as long as they dress up, agree to our Code of Conduct and follow our Pervy Activity Liaison (PAL) System. By default our spaces are disabled accessible and where there is any kind of exception to that we will always make clear.

Q: Can I bring my toys?

A: Whether it’s your Lelo or your Lego, as long as it’s portable and you can keep it on your person, then yes.

Q: Is there a dress code? Will I be refused access if I don’t dress up?

A: Yes, a ridiculous costume is mandatory. But we don’t expect you to spend a lot of money on it and indeed most of the best costumes are cheap DIY affairs. Kinky Salon Toronto strongly encourages you to explore (and corrupt) each party’s theme in the way you dress. Creative, interesting, unique outfits are a great way to peacock and to enable others to initiate conversation with you. At the end of the day it’s about self-expression. Avoid standard fetish wear or hugely pricy vintage and wear things you might not mind leaving on the floor! Don’t come in jeans, running shoes, sportswear, t-shirts or similar street clothes unless somehow they’re crucial to a fantasy costume. If you have any questions about your outfit, feel free to email us.

Q: Will there be photographs or video at the event?

Sometimes we have a photobooth, a videobooth, or a professional photographer to take pictures of people in their outfits. We keep this contained in a certain area so you can choose to commemorate your experience or not. But no-one is allowed to roam the party or document the play spaces. And mobile phones / cameraphones are to be stashed. Photobooth photos are on an opt-out basis, meaning that you will be sent the photo and given the chance to contact us and let us know if you don’t want it ever to be seen on our public site. We delete any photo you want to be kept private. Videobooth clips are public and may end up in one of our video montages.

Q: Is there a cloakroom? How do I get changed? What happens to clothes in the play spaces?

A: There is a limited, small cloakroom for coats. It’s a small space so we ask that you stash it once rather than asking our cloakroom crew to take your stuff in and out multiple times. You can get changed in the bathrooms at the venue, which are gender-neutral.

Please make sure your baggage (emotional and otherwise) can fit in the overhead compartment: we can’t store a suitcase or huge holdall. Don’t leave any coats or bags in the chill out area or playroom as we will remove them. And please leave your valuables at home! You’re welcome to bring toys but we can’t be held responsible for your iPod or your Swarovski crystal eggcups.

If you choose to remove your clothes in the playroom we recommend that you place them in a little pile and remember where your pile was. It can be useful to put smaller items inside your shoes (some people also wrap undies around their wrist!)…try to avoid scattering your clothes everywhere as that’s a recipe for them ending up in lost-and-found. If an item hits lost-and-found we announce it in the post-party mailout and you have to pick it up from us.

Q: What are your rules on safer sex?

A: The Code of Conduct contains detailed guidelines on safer sex and we expect all partygoers to abide by them. No exceptions. We provide a small amount of safer sex supplies but please make sure you bring your own.

Q: Is there anywhere private for us to play?

A: The KST experience is about bringing people together so we don’t have locking doors, private rooms or anything similar. The playroom is a fairly public environment. However we will sometimes have a few themed secret cubby holes (decorated to look like anything from Castle Grayskull to a Hobbit House) where you can play with a friend or two: these are often popular with those who are a little more shy about their bodies. Please be respectful of the fact that bathroom facilities are limited: the potty is not a playroom.

Q: What if my partner or PAL wants to leave early?

A: You are still responsible for your PAL’s behaviour even if they leave early. Please read the PAL rules – they apply to everyone.

Q: Is there any entertainment? If I’m interested in performing – can I get involved?

A: Yes – there is a 30 minute cabaret towards the start of the night plus a variety of entertainment that might include DJing, live music, cabaret, poetry, performance art, interactive mayhem…anything at all that you can imagine. Kinky Salon Toronto is built on contributions from the community so if you have something to throw into the mix we want to hear from you. Apply to be one of our performers or to host an interactive area by writing to us with your ideas for how you’d like to contribute!

Q: What time do the parties start and finish? What is the last permitted arrival time? What happens if I’m late or if I can’t arrive before the arrival time?

A: We ask that guests arrive strictly between 8pm and 9pm so that everyone can get to know each other and our door person can enjoy the party. Doors will close after this time and there are no admissions after that. Last call is 2am.

Q: Can we stay over at the venue?

A: Nope, sorry! Our venue is close to transport links and our venue staff can help you book taxis. If you are planning on staying in a hotel, please email us as we can tell you about nearby hotels.

Q: How do I join?

If you want to come along to a future Kinky Salon Toronto event, the first step is to become a member. Once your application has been approved, we’ll start sending you all the details you could ever need for all of our future events!